contributed by Dana Detrick

You never really hear of a psychic having a bad day. But they would see the dark clouds coming, right?

The rest of us aren’t so lucky. When it comes to the psychological and emotional climate of most industries, it’s feast or famine. After awhile, that takes its toll, and you wake up one day and realize that the sweet taste of promise that got you through your start-up phase has been replaced by sour grapes.

It happens to the best of us. Even in love affairs, when it first blossoms, the passion is intense and the feelings are euphoric. And by no fault of its own, one of two things happens: it’s fleeting and ends, or you settle into the long-term stage, which may be just as meaningful, but is characterized by less of a “spark”.

Most professionals I know spend a lot of time trying to constantly reignite that spark, or, if they’re the more impatient types, lighting a new fire altogether before the other one even has a chance to keep them warm.

It would serve them far better to balance their emotional relationships with their business.

I’ve observed other successful business owners and career creatives, and it’s obvious they have some attributes in common in this area. Unfortunately, at the other end of the spectrum, both the Moti-Vacuums (you know, those entrepreneurs that spend so much time sucking up and spitting out business inspiration and motivational material that even the Care Bears think they’re a little over the edge) and Doom-Bots (who still run businesses despite the fact that they deplore everything about how their industry operates) are displaying their own set of rules.

How the Moti-Vacuums think:

I must always have a heart-swelling passion and love for what I do.

Nope. This is that “falling in love” feeling, and we all know the sweaty palms must subside in order to get to the good stuff. Extreme serial entrepreneurs will simply quit when the lust is gone and start a new business, lathering, rinsing, and repeating throughout their careers.

I must always be positive.

By requiring extreme positivity from yourself no matter the situation, you’re setting yourself up for a huge gut-punch over the smallest letdown.

I must take time away from my business to work on my mood.

You crazy? Get back to work! Louise L. Hay will still be around in your off time.

How the Doom-Bots think:

Lowest price always wins.

Multi-million dollar ad campaigns won’t fool you, will they? No one will pay you to be creative. Or maybe they’ll pay “the other guy”, but certainly they won’t pay you. Because…

That’s just the way it is.

No point trying to change anything. This is how it’s always been done, and whether or not it’s getting results is no reason to look at any other way of operating. High impact activities, be damned!

Everyone should be like me.

The real problem is that despite not making what you want and not even liking your industry, everyone else isn’t following your lead. If only they’d be more like you, then we could see some change. Except there’s no point in that, is there?

What they each could learn from how Successful Business Owners create the emotional balance:

There’s beauty in the mundane.

If we follow Vilfredo Pareto‘s logic, only 20% of your biz time is going to be spent on the o.m.g. awesome stuff. Mother Teresa didn’t make an impact by doing big, lofty things. Finding contentment in “the work” and seeing bigger goals come to life through them is the DNA of a strong business leader.

I can change no one but myself.

Both the Moti-Vacuums and the Doom-Bots are dependent on the actions of others to get anywhere. The MV’s think their positivity alone will be so infectious that it will alter their clients, their colleagues, and at times, even their talent, leaving no other responsibility on their shoulders. The DB’s are so dependent on their industry circles and clients to make decisions for them, that they’re imprisoned by their businesses.

But the Successful Business Owner knows that owning your own power, though not always exciting or fun, is the key to opening the doors you want to open. If you are weak in an area, it gives you the ability to grow. You’re not limited by what any given industry or peer group has deemed as standard practice – you make your own. And you don’t waste a ton of time trying to change anyone’s mind. You free yourself to say, “No thank you,” and move on to the next candidate.

Bad days (and weeks…and years…) happen.

Clients flake. Lawyers are hired. Volumes get louder. Feelings get hurt. Industries change. It’s all just part of life as well as business. You’re human, your employees are human, and so are your clients and colleagues. So cut everyone some slack! Picking your battles often refers to not fighting all the time, but it also means there are causes worthy enough, so step up and roar when you need to!

“Winning” at business, much like life, isn’t about the actual score, but how you play the game. Hindsight makes most experiences that were cloudy a lot clearer, but it’s usually the experience (not the trophy) that helps us grow. Step into your power, and let it “be”. You’ll find the emotional balance you seek when you stop trying to seek it so hard.

(I know, right? Wrong Beatles song! I couldn’t help it – George is my fave.)